Plastic for Everyone!

My wife’s credit card bill came today. I opened the envelope, checked the balance, shuddered, and then immediately thought about my various options.

I could:
A. Read the bill and make sure that all of the charges appear reasonable
B. Not read the bill

From there, I could:
A. Pay the bill in full
B. Make a partial payment and incur interest charges
C. Not pay anything and REALLY incur the interest charges

Finally, I could decide to:
A. Let my wife keep the card
B. Cut up the card
C. Order companion cards for friends and family

Now in the case of my wife’s card, I always read the charges. Every so often something like a charge for $425 by Al’s House of Custom Wheels, or $29 for Big Jim’s Tabackey Shop will appear that doesn’t look right. If she has no idea what those charges are either, then we call Citibank to protest. Second, I always pay the bill in full – no matter what. We haven’t carried a balance on any card since 1993.

For the last option, I could always attempt to cut the card up, but the ensuing divorce would cost me about 100 times the bill, so it’s cheaper just to let it go. Besides, my wife has a consistent track record for not spending more than we can afford to spend in a month. If she plans to buy something that might be higher than usual, we sit down together and figure out if we really need it and if it fits our budget. As for the idea of sending companion cards out to miscellaneous friends and relatives…are you kidding? Who do I look like, Congress????? Hell no, I happen to be fiscally responsible.

I think of the most recent stimulus bill that the President rammed through Congress and compare it to my wife’s credit card bill, and I want to throw up. In the case of Congress, there is absolutely no consideration for paying any portion of the previous bill off. Nope, all of our friends have a companion card, and they are going to charge it to the max at every opportunity. Somebody else is going to pay it off with interest someday, but it won’t be our problem then.

It’s bad enough that Congress has no intention of paying for their wild spending spree, but it seems like nobody bothered to read the whole bill before everyone voted to pass it. HUH????? No questioning that charge from Jimbo’s House of Whores? How about the 12 year subscription to Hustler? New rims for an Escalade that we don’t own? Should we talk about whether or not we can afford to buy all of the neighbors a flat screen TV? Nah, why bother, it’s only $700 billion. Besides, the President wants it passed in a couple of days, so we have to throw it together real quick and hammer it through.

By the way, didn’t the President himself campaign on such issues as responsible spending, no earmarks, and full disclosure? Did he not break all of those promises when he blindly signed the check to pay for that boondoggle? How can the media not hold him to this? No wonder the wandering stupid among us don’t say a word. Heaven forbid that Fox News will almost sound credible when attacking the Demos on this!

Citizen Zane wonders whether it is prudent for him to hand out 100 companion cards to that can be charged to the max to irresponsible people to help stimulate the economy, and then declare bankruptcy and walk away Scott free……Hmmmm, that seems to be the government’s MO, because as sure as God made little green apples, that’s where we are heading – Citizen Zane